Join us as we embark on the grand social experiment henceforth known as The Beige Index Credited Cast!

With your support, your name and your ethnicity/ies will be added to our cast list right here, and our patented Beige-o-Meter™ will have all it needs to do its dirty, filthy work.

Will our supporters be CREAMY? Will we hit BEIGE FEVER as a team? Do we dare to reach for MIDDLEBEIGE? And perish the thought, absolutely perish it—could we actually ever achieve DOWN TO BROWN? Not in our wildest dreams.

And look, even we know we'll never reach the fabled WELCOME TO BEIGEWATCH...

Not unless all you Nigerian princes out there chip in! Alan tells us he's had semi-successful business transactions with one of you already. So don't stinge on us, Abayomrunkoje! We need you!